Josie's Story

I got to know about the Wayside womens group as one day I wanted to talk to a member of staff called Frances but she wasn't down stairs, so I asked where she was. I went upstairs to see Frances to have a chat and was invited in for tea. I was glad I went up there because I was made to feel welcome with all the other women.

I was asked if I wanted to join the group and I agreed I would come the following week as it was very relaxing. I enjoyed being with the other women in the same situation as myself, homeless and fleeing violence. For the first time I spoke about my abuse through Frances as she is caring and understanding.

I've never really mixed with women as I've never trusted any women except my gran, my auntie Rita and best friend Cathy. I knew straight away I could trust Frances and I could talk to her about my problems. Kate was lovely too, I built a relationship with both of them as I felt as ease with them. They gave me my self confidence back as they always praised me and what I did. Both noticed that I had talents in art and writing, I felt this was my special time being part of the group as I have always mixed with men. I've now found myself being the person I was before I went into a violent relationship. I lost my job, my fiends and my family through the violence. I shut everybody out because I didn't want tem to know what I was going through. I'm glad one of my closest male friend said to m last July when I was at my lowest-get yourself out!.

At first it was hard speaking in front of other women but now I can I feel doing art helps you express your feelings and emotions. It made me stronger again as I have the women's group. The staff are lovely and very supportive. Flora , a student social worker joined the group, she is lovely too.. I can find I can talk to her as well, she's down to earth and very understanding and supportive.

I feel I've moved on with my life and learned by my mistakes to put myself first, because in the past that's where I went wrong putting men first-then they became violent and controlling my life. That's why I lost all my confidence I felt like a slave in my 1st violent relationship, brought three kids up by myself and my ex stayed up all night smoking cannabis with his brother while I ran after him and looking after the kids most nights.

Me and the kids where woken up with all the noise when my sister in law said to me I should put a stop to it all during the week because I was working voluntary, and the kids and my sleep where getting disturbed, so I said to him In front of his brother. He went crazy and started being violent towards me because I stood up to him. It was constant after I lost my mother and gave up the job.

I was stuck in the house with him constantly all he did was bring me down, mental abuse and violent abuse. The one day I retaliated because he was so low he brought me down because I got flowers for my deceased relatives: my nana and cousin. He laughed in my face and said "flowers wont bring them back" and when I answered him back he brought my cousin down because I pushed him out of the way and he beat me up in front of my kids, so bad that I "blacked out".

I ended up seeping in a grave yard, then he wouldn't let me back in the house when my feet here all cut with blisters as I was walking about in a pair of sandals which had snapped. He just laughed in my face so I continued to walk about again. I took a panic attack "thought I was dying", I was a really scary experience. I was confused and didn't know what I was doing, I think I had concussion with him banging my head of the walls.

He had me by the throat and tried to strangle me when the police found me I was inside a car that was left opened. I was that confused that I thought it was my friend car. When the police found me, he lied about me and said I was 'Looney' so I ended up sectioned. I was really annoyed that him and his brother made a story up about me. I was brought up by my grandparents, they where very polite and intelligent. They where jealous because of me, because I had a good carer and had plenty of qualifications in nursing, children and elderly. I did a lot of training and passed al the courses in childcare and elderly drug victims, mental health and alcoholic because I said I was thinking about becoming a social care worker or a nurse.

That's when him and his brother starting making fun of me, slagging social workers. I used them as my case work, 'they weren't brought up right' they're parents where alcoholics and their mother told me she was abused by their father. Their mother was mentally ill through the father and turned to alcohol. The younger kids here took into care because she couldn't cope. My ex was on the street form 15 glue sniffing and stealing.

He got a girl pregnant, then abused her and the baby, but he lied and told me that was because the mother of the baby was a lit slow. So, I felt sorry for him and moved in with him when I was 6 months pregnant to my boyfriend before him. He said he would sign for my daughter so I agreed to help him get his own daughter back. But, because he dint get his way with the kid it changed and started being abusing to me, like "I'm bringing someone else's kid up". He put me out of his house when my baby was only a few months old, that was when I found out I was pregnant with his child, so I gave him another chance.

He hit me in the stomach while carrying my first child then the second pregnancy, but I was a fool and took him back because I didn't want to be on my own. He was getting done for attempt murder when I was carrying my son. We had to move to London or he was going to prison. Its maddening knowing that he got away with this all these years and I'm the one who was the victim of homelessness, accused of being mentally ill. I've spoken to many people (social workers and support workers) ad they know I've no mental or drug or alcohol problems apart form cannabis which helped me sleep and never had a criminal record. That's why I cant understand why he got away with getting my house and custody of my son at 14yrs. Him ,his brother and sister all got together and made a story up about me, lied to get access. I couldn't go to curt because I had pleurisy and was homeless through it. Because I met a man who cared for me and my kids, he got jealousy and more violent towards me. I didn't take my kids for a reason they where happy besides they had their friends and school.

I went up every day to get them form school, make them their breakfast, do the ironing, bedrooms, washing them put them out to school. Then coming back at 3pm to make their dinner, wash their school clothes, then take them out to 10pm. Take them back home getting them organised for school, do their homework, bath them , wash them, when they where in bed I would go back home to my own house. I would do that every day and take the girls out at weekends until he lost his mother. He became violent towards me because I was going out with my boyfriend and friends for the 1st time and I said I wasn't coming up that day.

He started giving me abusing calls then stopped me going back to his house, he stopped the kids form coming down-just to get a me, because he couldn't see me happy and moving on with my life . Because, I said I was taking my son back, he became more violent and I ended up homeless because I couldn't handle the phone calls an not seeing the kids. When I was homeless it all started again so I had enough and went up to se the kids. He became abusing too, I stood up for myself and he arrested me.

Josie